Sleepless Nights

Night. Piercing silence ringing in my ears. Tossing, and turning. My mind keeps racing. A thousand things rushing through my head. "What if...?" "How come...?" "Why not...?" Shut up. Shut up, mind. I don't want to think. I'm done with the past. The sleepless nights. I'm not going to look back. Keep my head up. I toss to my other side. The sheets are warm and comforting. I think to myself, "I'm not strong enough to not look back. To keep my head up." No. Shut up. Sleep, deep sweet sleep. I lay on my back and stare at my ceiling. "Change the subject, imagine something calming, make up a dream and go to sleep, Tiffany." I drift off, so close to that calmness. Then, my mind wakes up. Again. Rested and ready to annoy me for the rest of my night till i finally overcome it, and fall into the place where nothing matters, just sleep. But, lately i don't want to sleep. My dreams, they hurt. They bring back things i don't want to think about. The old me. The selfish me. The "Bad" me. I did things, So many things i regret. That i want to take back more than anything. I know people say you should never regret anything, but God. If they knew, they'd understand. Stop thinking. Sleep, Tiffany. Don't think. But, how can i not think? Listen to music. Unintened- Muse. Your sleep song. That should fix it. Nope, not at all. Just brings up emotions, and the past. Close your eyes, don't open them. Sleep.